RE: [lofo List] agriview quote again - pls comment today

["Cathy Holtslander" <choltslander@canadians.org>]

I like the choices wording better. 
- Cathy 

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-lofo@cs.uregina.ca [mailto:owner-lofo@cs.uregina.ca] On Behalf Of Daryl Hepting
Sent: June 2, 2006 10:50 AM
To: Local Food Directory Project
Subject: [lofo List] agriview quote again - pls comment today

Hi;

Here's the revision from SAF:

> “This directory will help link producers and consumers, and develop 
> local markets for local food products,” Hepting said. “It will also 
> help develop value-added industries in the province, provide consumers 
> with the tools needed to compare local products with national brands, 
> and provide information about economic, environmental, health, and 
> social impacts of consuming locally produced foods.”

They've added "of consuming locally produced foods" to answer the question, "impacts of what."  My preference is to suggest that phrase be replaced with "of their choices."  Which is more clear?  Is there a better 3rd alternative?  The following has another change in it, but please add your comments to the one below.

“This directory will help link producers and consumers, and develop local markets for local food products,” Hepting said. “It will also help develop value-added industries in the province and provide consumers with the tools needed to compare local products with national brands, and learn about the economic, environmental, health, and social impacts of their choices.”

I would like to get the revision to them today.

Best regards,
Daryl
--
Daryl H. Hepting, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor  * Computer Science Department * CW 308.22 University of Regina * Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada S4S 0A2
dhh@cs.uregina.ca    * http://www.cs.uregina.ca/~hepting
tel: (306) 585-5210  * fax: (306) 585-4745



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